Three Months, and it's not any easier

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Hello everyone. Spring is in the air here on the coast of Maine. But this spring it means something different for me. I've been absent lately; I haven't written a blog in several months now. Some of you who know me personally know the reason. For the rest of you, let me explain.

If you read my very first blog post, you'll remember I mentioned my husband, Richard, who was living with cancer. I'm sad to say he passed the end of December after a 14 year long battle. He beat the odds though as he had been told back in 2008 that he only had three years left. We had 22 wonderful years together, not long enough. My life won't ever be the same.

So, spring this year means something different. Instead of looking forward to planting my gardens, I am traveling South to bury his ashes. He wanted half his ashes put in the Veteran's Cemetery in Kentucky, his home State. The other half he wants scattered in the ocean at camp. I'll do this when the weather warms up.

I don't mean for this be a sad, somber post, I'm just sharing what is going on in my life. I miss him terribly, but at the same time I'm thankful he isn't suffering or in pain anymore. For his celebration of life, Richard wanted a party complete with 60's music, Hawaiian shirts and people to share funny stories. So that's what we are doing. Everyone tells me to hold on to our memories. I guess the part that hurts the most right now is realizing we won't get to make more memories together in the future.

I've spent the last few months not only making soap but doing projects around the house. This farmhouse is my childhood home and it's stuck in the 70's. So far, I've redone a guest room and the main bathroom. The day after Richard passed, I rearranged the living room. I suppose I'm trying to occupy my mind so I don't thing about 'things'.

One of the projects I just recently finished was Richard's final book. I made him a promise that I would finish it for him. You see, he was an author and had this book essentially finished, it just needed to be put together and sent to his publisher. Somehow, I managed to get through the editing, design, and all the other paperwork that's involved, and I got it submitted. A few days ago, I found out it's now in print! I have such a feeling of accomplishment to have finished this for him. I hope he is proud, not just of me, but of his last works. He had so many followers who loved and miss him.

Hopefully, when I return from Kentucky, the weather will be nice, and the ground will have thawed out some. I do want to get in my gardens and play in the dirt. It's just going to be different this year.

Thanks for listening.